I have never thought two was too old until now, when my own baby is more a child than a baby, more independent than dependent on Mommy. Lately everything you do seems so grown up and I find myself gladly cuddling and sharing the bed with you when there are storms or you have a bad dream because I know you only get bigger every day and I won't be able to hold you tight forever. I used to long for you to reach your next milestone, excited for you to grow bigger and smarter, but I find myself holding back, not wanting you to move too quickly to the next thing...I wish I could linger for a bit, just hold you right where you are for a little while. It doesn't exactly help that I am so pregnant with your little sister and I know that soon I will have another baby filling my arms and competing for my attention and I will have to divide my time with you and her...which is wonderful in so many ways but kind of makes me want to cry right now knowing how quickly life is passing and seeing you changing every single day.
For the record, I have never been a super emotional person, but every day that you learn something new or do something on your own I don't know whether to cheer or cry. This morning you (accidentally) made me burst into tears. We were sitting at the table, eating orange danish and enjoying Mother's Day when I said something to the affect of, "eat up, baby" and you looked at me and said "I not baby, Mommy" to which I turned to your Daddy in disbelief and my eyes got a bit misty and then you said "I two years old" and that did it...I completely lost it and just cried right in front of you and Daddy. I wanted to cry all morning, every time I thought about those words and how true they are. In reality, I know you are still a baby in many ways, but I just couldn't believe you could verbalize that you aren't really a baby anymore. I know this but in my heart I know you will always be mine and Daddy's baby...our first born love.
In your growing up, simply put, you amaze me. I truly wonder what another whole year will bring if you already have learned so much by two years old. By around 16 months you knew all the letters of the alphabet and soon after you learned all the sounds that go along with them. You like to count to ten in English and Spanish. You don't care much for colors, haven't figured that out yet, lol. You like puzzles but need help...you have tried Play-Doh but haven't figured it out on your own. Drawing is fun for you and playing with tea cups and toy food is always a favorite.
I want to tell you some things about you at Two so you know what a special time this is in life and how much you have grown in just one year. You are incredibly inquisitive...lots of "who'sat?" and "what'sat?" Everything is interesting to you. You have a huge heart and sense of compassion for others when they are upset or hurting...just last week you were crying so much I thought you were hurt but you just were upset that another little girl was upset. You are working on learning how to share...it's a work in progress ;) Your favorite things to play with are your babies, feeding them bottles, cheerios, and "shushing" them so they can go to sleep. Lately you even sing to them "byo, byo" and "sweet chariot" which is extra sweet to listen to your precious voice singing. You sing a lot about all sorts of things, even if you are asking for crackers you sing it to me instead of asking me in just a question and I love it, it is super sweet and funny. You love to slide, run, play outside, rock in your rocking chair on the front porch, and to color. You love to eat yogurt and berries, pizza & rolls (like your Daddy), bagels for breakfast, animal crackers for snack and homemade smoothies.
I pray for you...for your future, for you and your sister to be the best of friends, for God to allow you to feel every bit as loved as you should even after we have another daughter. I pray for your future husband, that the Lord will shape him and you to become the people He wants you to be, that He will show Kyle and I how to be the best parents to you to help make you that person. It's not easy being a parent to a two year old...there are plenty of times that we mess up, say or do the wrong thing, are too strict or too lenient, but just know that we are trying our best, because you are worth every bit of hard work and frustration that goes into parenting.
Above all else, dearest Bella, you are the bright spot in your parents' life. Every day is more fun and beautiful with you in it. Every day I am thankful for your joy and humor and constant love. When the rest of the world is going to pieces, I can still look at you and know that there is good in the world and that God is going to use you to do GREAT things as you grow and follow Him. It excites me to be a witness to your life. I love you, my "two old" child, more every day.
