Birth Story of Isley (Eyes-lee)

I want to write this before I get too busy with life so I can remember it well, though I know most things I will never forget.



Overdue by more than a week-I was pretty desperate to have this baby! Could not sleep well...slipping into the "ice cream medication" state to ease my woes and then Wednesday I finally started having contractions...it sounds crazy to be happy about being in pain but I was quite happy! I asked Kyle to pick up hot wings (because I have heard spicy food helps labor to start) so I would maybe continue having contractions-it worked ;) I had contractions consistently all night, sometimes close together, sometimes 20 minutes apart, never stopping though. We called our doula (I'm not good at explaining what the definition of a doula is but they coach you through your birth, start to finish and help make the atmosphere more relaxing and therefore help you focus on dealing with the stages of birth) and she came and stayed a while and massaged my feet and helped me with staying calm and breathing through contractions. She put on "zen music" and gave me a rice sock (which saved my sanity with the pain I felt in my back with each contraction). She left for a while so we could rest since neither Kyle or I had had much sleep that night and we called her when the contractions got closer together and stronger.

I want to stop right here and say that in all the time Kyle and I have been married he never ceases to amaze me-the birth of our daughter Isley was certainly no exception. Through the whole process he supported me in every way he could, physically and emotionally. I had UNBEARABLE pain in my back during each contraction and the only thing that made it tolerable was if someone put pressure on my back during the contraction. He sat with me and timed the contractions, held my back, massaged me when I needed it-and that was just in early labor. Once we got to the point where we needed to drive to Atlanta to go to the hospital I was 5-6 cm dilated and having strong contractions about every 3 minutes in the car-by the way, labor in the car and Atlanta traffic are not a good mix.

Bella spent the time we were away with her grandmothers and had a ball...though she did miss us I am told. I missed her SO much. I have never been away from her overnight, and two nights felt like eternity...I couldn't wait to get home and hold her, even though I knew she would only have interest for her new sister. The best part about having two kids so far? Watching Bella meet Isley. I swear it was like waking up Christmas morning and getting everything you wished for--THAT is how overthetop excited she was to meet "baby Iswee". She was standing at the window looking out as we came up the porch steps-clapping her hands and saying "baby Iswee?!!!" with the biggest smile in the world. As soon as we opened the door she wanted to hold her- she ran right past me (who, did I mention she has never spent the night away from?) and straight to her sister and laughed the most excited, happy laugh imaginable and hugged her and kissed her and wanted to "get out" of the carseat so she could hold her take care of her. I wish with all my might I could convey how proud that makes me of her...that her heart is so big and loving that we have to remind her to not show "too much" love because she wants to cover her with kisses and hugs! I will forever remember my favorite two girls being introduced-God is so good to me!



But, back to business. I made it to "almost" transition (7ish cm) and we had to decide if we would go to the hospital then or after rush hour...we chose then. Getting to the car was awful. Painful. NofunatALL. Riding in the care was worse. I didn't talk. At all. I breathed deeply a lot, I prayed for getting through traffic and not wrecking. I wanted to make a special lane for pregnant women in labor and get there NOW. We finally got there-Kyle parked the car in front, we weren't sure what to do so he went in to ask. They came back with a wheel chair-we had to go all the way around to the end of this insanely long ramp and I remember every bump hurting and I was exceedingly annoyed with every little crack in the sidewalk. Things like that infuriate you when you are in labor, fyi. My Mom was there-we didn't tell her to come but I'm glad she did. We got to the front desk and they kept asking when I was due, when we told them I was overdue they continued to try to get the specific DATE that I was due-because that's what you ask a pregnant lady who is in the middle of contractions that are coming VERY close together and in EXTREME pain. They wanted my social security number, my name, the list goes on-and all I wanted was to get out of the freaking wheelchair and into a bed away from bright lights and people.

Finally my doula convinced them to let me go to a room first and they could get the rest of the formal info after I got settled. They checked my cervix and I was 7-8 cm (Tracy, always the optimist says, we'll take 8!) And so, I took that 8 because "8" was my goal to get to without pain meds. I told myself (and Kyle) that if I could make it to 8, I read that was the worst pain and if I could handle that what was the point of getting pain medication? (yes, I am an all or nothing kind of girl). I'm not talking about without an epidural, I mean not one SINGLE Tylenol. I had my baby with NO pain medication. Please understand, that was NOT me that made that happen. It was all God. I have HORRID back labor and many times thought about getting medication but I was so very desperate to have a natural birth so that I wouldn't have the awful C-section side effects that I had with Bella's birth.

Side note: At this point I think Blythe arrived-she is our lovely photographer friend who photographed this whole glorious event-not really my style to photograph such a private moment since I am super private about these things but she had recently posted how much she wanted to do birth photography and here I was about to have a baby so I figured the worst that could happen is I would not want to look at the pics later (which is actually not true, I love the work she did and especially the moments captured after Isley came into the world). She was very discreet and left when I asked and was not invasive at all. 

I didn't want to move from the bed but Tracy encouraged me to try other positions to speed the process along. That was VERY difficult for me to do. Having back labor so bad made me want to have something to  press against my back HARD every time I had a contraction which means if I wasn't laying down someone had to be there putting that hard pressure on my back or I couldn't tolerate the pain. I tried several positions and they had to keep adjusting the baby heart monitor they kept trying to keep strapped to my belly (one of the joys of a VBAC birth-you have to have the baby monitored the whole time). The monitor wouldn't stay no matter what they did and so they told my midwife and she decided she would stay and hold the monitor herself so that I could move to whatever position I wanted to without a lot of fuss from the machines. Anjli was my midwife's name and she was an angel-she held that monitor for hours-never leaving my side. I have never heard of or seen such dedication from a doctor-only a true midwife would commit like that. It still blows me away. I have the utmost respect for her. Tracy never lost patience with me either (which is miraculous considering how stubborn I was about staying in the bed) and she knew just what to do to help me through each contraction. Kyle offered me water and kisses whenever it seemed I needed some extra support (which was most of the time) and I labored until we finally got past "transition" to the pushing part. I must say I didn't like transition AT ALL but pushing was super hard too...transition was still worse, just a different kind of pain.

I tried a few different positions for pushing. Between that and keeping in my mind on (hopefully) having a faster labor without medication I was pretty preoccupied for hours. 3 1/2 hours, a LOT of pushing and finally some yelling/praying and a little crying Isley entered the world.  My Mom, Kyle, Tracy, Anjli, Blythe were so supportive and gracious-it was just amazing how surrounded I was with support and love during the whole process. Praise GOD for allowing me the birth I desired to have but even more that he kept Isley safe during the 3 1/2 hours of pushing (the cord was unknowingly wrapped around her neck). After she was born I got to hold her right away and I had that "whole world melts away" except for my Isley's beautiful face feeling. I don't remember the pain disappearing so much as I just was overpowered with joy that she was finally in my arms and safely delivered. Hard to believe we had gotten through the hardest most wonderfully mysterious things life has to offer together-it's still surreal. Kyle and I couldn't have been any more excited! We both held her (Kyle did not cut the cord-he doesn't like blood) and marveled at our tiny beauty. Anjli told me how proud she was of me and I remember thinking there wasn't anyone else I would have wanted delivering my baby-she was a saint. She would later tell me that Isley's birth was one of the most beautiful she had witnessed and that she would always remember it-I took that SO much to heart knowing she has delivered hundreds of babies and I am so thankful to God that he allowed me to share that connection with her.

Now Kyle will not tell you that birth is beautiful, but it is a beautiful thing and I could tell that he had a new found respect for me after going through that whole process in such a raw way. For weeks he would do anything I asked, without hesitation, offer to do things for me, waited on me hand and foot. Not that he doesn't already offer to do things or get things for me (he is pretty amazing) it was just an eagerness to serve me that I noticed as a side effect :)

So, there you have it, the story of our Isley Virginia's debut!

Tonight, we are young

So, I blog a lot about my kids, and motherhood, and homemaking. But every now and then, I am just a girl, wanting to write.

Things I have done recently:

• Rode a merry-go-round with the two most amazing girls in the world
• Laughed with my sister
• Thought of a list of books I want to read (1000 gifts, hunger games, etc.)
• Daydreamed about our upcoming beach trip 
• Caught up with my Ethiopia-bound cousin Emily
• Had a great talk with my Aunt Dana
• Had a lovely dinner with my Aunt Holly & Uncle Bryan
• Hugged my Momma
• Watched my Daddy teach my little girl how to play chess and remembered him teaching me. 
• Made cookies with old besties
• Laughed with my daughters at their sheer silliness
• Pierced my nose-LOVE it! (back in November-but apparently I did not announce it to the world, i.e. FB)
• Looked at pictures of tattoos that I might want-if I ever settle on one I would love for eternity and not get sick of. 
• Danced to a Shania Twain song.
• Got chills listening to the song my love and I danced to at our wedding
• Thanked God for granting me peace in a very specific way...He knows how great even the small things are to us-he is SUCH a good, good Father. 

Grand Canyon

Everybody loves short cuts. A faster way to get from point "A" to point "B". Today more than ever we relish everything that saves us time-fast food, internet shipping, people who make coffee for us. Yes, I love short cuts: especially those entitled "Starbucks"...sigh-kinda wish I had a cup right now!



Facebook is sort of like a social short cut. No phones necessary, not talking over the phone, and my personal favorite-no having to print a thousand REAL pictures so that your friends and family can see your recent adventures.  Of course, even though there are thousands of words a day on facebook and twitter it's also SILENT. By that I mean you don't hear the stories that people don't tell. You don't hear the other kids SCREAMING in the background as that adorable picture of the baby is being taken. The context of those unbelievably perfect family pictures is not disclosed (usually). Sometimes I hate facebook as much as I love it. This is why-it makes us come across as if life just "happens" to be peachy-keen all the time. Don't get me wrong, I say promote the positive and keep the negative at bay but even research studies have shown people get envious, angry, hurt, competitive...over what they do see and think the rest of the world does not struggle like they do.



In real life, some things are fine to use a short cut: algebra, computers, links for websites, but there are some things in life that require a very long, tedious road traveled to arrive where you want to be. Beverly Sills puts it like this: "there are no shortcuts to any place worth going". I have found this to be true for most things in my life. When searching for my future husband-what a LONG, hard, tempting path that was to journey through. So many people taking shortcuts, telling me to not take it so seriously, to forsake my heart's desires for my body's pleasure. That waiting was...excruciating, at times. Worth it? Absolutely. Did I make mistakes? Absolutely! And even though I regret those mistakes you know what? Those mistakes helped me to see that I was not above temptation-that I was just as human as everyone else. For those of you reading that are on that journey still-trying to wade through the dangerous waters of being single in this fallen world, all I can tell you is that the shortcuts are not worth it-and though you have probably made mistakes try and remember that Jesus didn't focus on people's sin that were remorseful and wanted to change, he saw their heart and beckoned for them to turn from that life of pain and guilt and follow him instead. Everything you have done, He knows, and He still loves you-always has, always will. I know that we "know" that, but really, let that sink in. He loves ME. He knows every thought and desire and still, still I am welcome in His arms. I am amazed by that.




So where am I going with this? I am a parent now, well I have been for 2 years, 8 months and 7 days, before that even-ever since I was pregnant with Bella my whole world has changed. It's true what they say-having kids changes EVERYTHING. How I think, how I eat, who I like, who likes me (I can't tell you how many hundreds of people hold conversations with you when you are holding a cute baby on your hip). You think that it would wear off a bit once they get out of the "baby" stage-it doesn't. I check the labels on everything (just about). Because of my girls I cook healthy most of the time even though I am pretty certain Kyle and I could live off of Fajitas, ice cream, cereal and bagel bites for all eternity if given the option.

Now you could chalk this up to me being OCD or something-I'm not. What I am is a person who wants to give my children the best start to life they can have. I don't want to shelter them forever, or make all their decisions for them, or decide what college they will go to (or even if they go to college for that matter). It's bigger than that. I want to give them all the tools to have whatever life they could possibly want. Well, that's not true, I want to give them the tools to have the life CHRIST wants them to have-which is better than anything I or they could ever dream up. I know this because I am living proof. I dreamed up such a wonderful life for myself when I was growing up. I worked hard in school so I could get into some fabulously prestigious school-Harvard, Yale, whatever Ivy League I preferred. I would then meet the man of my dreams, travel around the world, do lots of missionary work, maybe write a few books and most of all make my MARK on this big world. Well, clearly my story did not play out quite that way. And boy am I glad! I certainly don't have that "picture perfect" life.

My days are filled with dirty diapers, blending sweet potatoes and getting baby food sneezed all over me. I have survived some tornado-sized tantrums with my two year old. I have been in tears more than once not knowing what to do next. BUT. Those long, hard days are worth it because parenting is like journeying to some place like the Grand Canyon....and then on to the next wonders of the world, each one more wonderful than the one before.



There are stretches of desert, sometimes you feel like you will never get to the end of the road you are on and then-you catch a glimpse of that view-only your view is seeing your child. Not seeing her on the outside only but realizing that, in that moment, she is the most perfect, wonderful, God-filled person on Earth and you realize she isn't part of your life, you are part of hers. You are helping to script her life so that she can go on to make her mark on the world. And all of a sudden all those long, hard hours and prayers and endless late night book reading on how-to's and what-to-do's to be the best parent you can muster on the 3 hours of sleep you are running on adds up to be worth it.

And you hold on to that moment in your heart, and you know that aside from finding love in your Best Friend, there is just no greater example of how to understand God's love. Because he sees us mess up over and over and over and you think-how can He love me? Because He is our Father. And good Fathers love ALL the time, and they rejoice when we get it right, and they are there to mend when our hearts get broken, and they are compassionate when we do things to break our own hearts. But God has that Grand Canyon, Big Picture view all the time and He knows that there are no shortcuts to our destination. On the contrary, that long journey is what binds us closer to Him, and to each other.

Who's Judging Who?

Today is the first day of the new year-2012!!

And Sunday. One of my favorite days of the week...because in 2011, almost a year ago we started visiting a church called Four Corners that meets in the Alamo bar in downtown Newnan for church services.

No, I am not kidding.

For some people that is bizarre, maybe even offensive. To me, it's brilliant. I have felt the presence of God since the first service we attended and I am still hungry to be more in love with Christ today, which was such a huge answer to prayer because my soul felt stagnant and there was a giant need for change. For the first time in such a long time I feel at home, at peace, knowing I am right where God wants me to be. It was a hard move for us, because we LOVE LOVE the people from our previous church and the amount of Biblical "giants" that we were able to listen and learn from was phenomenal. But, when you feel God calling you to move, you get restless until you find where it is that He wants you. That's when we found Four Corners, and I love the story of how Four Corners came to be. If you want to hear the whole story our Pastor told it in today's service and they post the sermons online. I really feel like we are part of a family at Four Corners and knowing there are people I can come to and depend on is so precious in life-something that only happens when Christ is at the center of it.

One thing that really stood out in today's sermon was how Pastor Alex said he used to care so much about what people thought of him-as if they would be the ones sitting on the throne of God judging him, instead of God himself. He said in seminary he realized that the ministry of Jesus involved actually being FRIENDS (not acquaintances or people we look down on) with prostitutes, poor people, sick people, etc. He realized that the only friends he had were believers...in the name of Jesus! He decided he needed to change that and start being more like Jesus in who he befriended. So, he went to work at the Alamo-and while working there God told him that church would be held in the Alamo...and 3 years ago that's exactly what happened.

Today was our last day of service in the Alamo-and I am pretty sad about that. I know that God has grown Four Corners to the point where we definitely need a bigger facility and has provided in big ways in order to make that happen. I am very glad for our friend Pastor Alex and Jana Early because I know this will relieve some of the stress of preaching THREE services back to back every single week (I have NO earthly idea how he manages to do that, especially with two kids the ages of ours!) So, it's a wise move, a necessary one...all the same though, I will miss having church at the Alamo. I never thought I would have an attachment to a bar, but I do. I am very thankful for the owner of the Alamo, Amy Murphy, because even thought I have never met her, she has changed our lives and the lives of countless others by allowing us to use The Alamo to meet to worship in.

Being the first day of the New Year I have been thinking about what I want my life to be like more than normal and today's sermon really hit home for me. I don't let what other's think control me but I do worry about what people may say or think about me if I was in the wrong place or hanging out with the wrong people. That is going to change in 2012. I will not let fear of what others say or think of my get in the way of genuinely loving people and showing people what Christ would be doing if he was still walking the Earth. Because, if we let him,  He is walking, talking, LIVING here on Earth through the Holy Spirit in US. Let 2012 be a year of living genuinely, for Christ, serving Him because He served us first, Loving others because He didn't turn anyone away, remembering that people need to know we bleed too, we are not just prototype Jesus clones, we are human and only do good through the help of Christ in us.

Happy New Year!

Helpful Hints from Holly

Gotta make this short and sweet but here are a few ways I have found to help streeeetch our budget to cover our expenses.

• Mint.com-life/time saver. Keeps track of everything, including student loans, credit cards, even has a way to implement cash spent-brilliant and FREE.
• THINK- before I buy anything right now I try to think about if I would rather be spending that money on something else, i.e. Do I really need to spend $10 on lunch for just me? that means I won't have that $10 when I need it to put towards date night-when I think of something I would rather put the money toward it loses it's appeal and I usually don't splurge on it. 
• Can I make that?- I will take something homemade over store bought any day-and so will just about anyone when it comes to gifts (at least women do!) I make it a habit to hand make cards, for instance, which might not seem like a big deal but if you get a Hallmark Card it will cost you at least $3, usually 5 or 6! 
• Home Cookin Preferred!- Yes, it does take more time to prepare but it's almost always cheaper and more fun especially if you have kids-just small things like making real lemonade instead of paying $10 or whatever ridiculous price you would pay at restaurant for a gallon. Allrecipe.com is my favorite for meals.
• Use the Internet for all it's worth!- some people say that cutting out the internet in your budget will save you money because you don't "need" it, but I wholeheartedly disagree. I have saved more time and money through the internet that it's well worth it's spot in my budget. Do It Yourself blogs, sites, Youtube and even just asking on FB for advice has saved us hundreds of dollars when it comes to repairing or making something ourselves rather than calling a specialist. Not to mention there is an answer to just about any need you could have-Google is my favorite money saver.
• Ride the bus-Yeah, I know it's a bit of a pain but Kyle recently has started using a Park and Ride bus that goes from Newnan (the stop is about 5 miles from our house) to Atlanta. By doing this we save money on gas, parking, car maintenance and wear and tear, etc. Plus, it give Kyle a stress free drive to and from work so he can read and have some time to himself. 
• Use an Insurance Agency-Insurance agencies take your info and get quotes from all different companies who you would normally have never even heard of. The companies bid lower because they know the agency has the ability to compare prices from everyone else and they want the Agent to recommend their business so they can have you as a customer. Also, they handle all the details for you and will help you find a place that you can have a combined Home and Auto Insurance bundle which saves you money too. I called my agency today (The Harbin Agency) and asked if we could get a lower rate since Kyle is only driving a few miles now instead of to Atlanta (due to the bus) and we are getting a rebate check in the mail and a significant cut in our monthly bill. FREE-and saves you time and hassle-they do all the work!
• Ditch Cable-seriously. Who needs it? With Hulu and just about every major tv channel having their own websites where you can watch full episodes free it's just not justified to pay for tv anymore. If you have kids, take them to the library and let them pick out movies and shows to watch-it's free and they won't be watching all those commercials that market toys they don't need. Besides all that who gets anything done with cable? Not me. Life's too short to spend it watching tv all day.
• Facebook Saving- For real-most companies now have Facebook sites and they advertise specials, offer giveaways and coupons.
• Coupons-you can do the AJC newspaper ad thing and go to CouponMom.com for tutorials on how to maximize on that system but you can also print coupons for groceries and retail stores.
• Promo Codes- There are promo codes for just about everything-when buying anything online go to RetailMeNot and check for a promo code before buying. 
• Buy Refurb-even Apple sells refurbished products-almost all electronic sites have a section for this, you just have to find it-it can save you hundreds of dollars and usually you get the same warranty as if it were brand new. We bought a lawn mower at the end of the summer last year "refurbished" (John Deere, not a cheapo brand) and paid less for it than any of the lesser quality brand tractors, just because someone bought it and returned it and the factory had to fix it and send it back. It works perfectly and came with the warranty. Totally the way to go.
• Clearance-always, ALWAYS check clearance before buying full price merchandise. I went to BabyGap to buy clothes for Bella and ended up paying only $3 for some of her clothes...you can almost always get the brand or quality you want of something, you just have to wait for it to go on sale!
• Phantom  Power Usage- pull the plug on your unused electronics! (google it and see how much money you are wasting-you'll be more inclined to take the time to unplug things!
• Craigslist and Freecyle- Craigslist has been great for large purchases we need to make but don't have the money to buy new-like we got our washer/dryer via Craigslist and one of our cars-and made a few friends in the process! You have to be careful about it but it's worth it. Freecycle is amazing! People give away SO MUCH -you just have to be available to go get it. Usually people will hold items for you if you really need it.

That's all for now-baby woke up-hope this helps some of you out! Share any money savers you know too :)

"Two Old"

My Bella, when I ask you how old you are you say "TWO old" but my heart breaks because I feel like two is TOO old. 

I have never thought two was too old until now, when my own baby is more a child than a baby, more independent than dependent on Mommy. Lately everything you do seems so grown up and I find myself gladly cuddling and sharing the bed with you when there are storms or you have a bad dream because I know you only get bigger every day and I won't be able to hold you tight forever. I used to long for you to reach your next milestone, excited for you to grow bigger and smarter, but I find myself holding back, not wanting you to move too quickly to the next thing...I wish I could linger for a bit, just hold you right where you are for a little while. It doesn't exactly help that I am so pregnant with your little sister and I know that soon I will have another baby filling my arms and competing for my attention and I will have to divide my time with you and her...which is wonderful in so many ways but kind of makes me want to cry right now knowing how quickly life is passing and seeing you changing every single day.

For the record, I have never been a super emotional person, but every day that you learn something new or do something on your own I don't know whether to cheer or cry. This morning you (accidentally) made me burst into tears. We were sitting at the table, eating orange danish and enjoying Mother's Day when I said something to the affect of, "eat up, baby" and you looked at me and said "I not baby, Mommy" to which I turned to your Daddy in disbelief and my eyes got a bit misty and then you said "I two years old" and that did it...I completely lost it and just cried right in front of you and Daddy. I wanted to cry all morning, every time I thought about those words and how true they are. In reality, I know you are still a baby in many ways, but I just couldn't believe you could verbalize that you aren't really a baby anymore. I know this but in my heart I know you will always be mine and Daddy's baby...our first born love.

In your growing up, simply put, you amaze me. I truly wonder what another whole year will bring if you already have learned so much by two years old. By around 16 months you knew all the letters of the alphabet and soon after you learned all the sounds that go along with them. You like to count to ten in English and Spanish. You don't care much for colors, haven't figured that out yet, lol. You like puzzles but need help...you have tried Play-Doh but haven't figured it out on your own. Drawing is fun for you and playing with tea cups and toy food is always a favorite. 

I want to tell you some things about you at Two so you know what a special time this is in life and how much you have grown in just one year. You are incredibly inquisitive...lots of "who'sat?" and "what'sat?" Everything is interesting to you. You have a huge heart and sense of compassion for others when they are upset or hurting...just last week you were crying so much I thought you were hurt but you just were upset that another little girl was upset. You are working on learning how to share...it's a work in progress ;) Your favorite things to play with are your babies, feeding them bottles, cheerios, and "shushing" them so they can go to sleep. Lately you even sing to them "byo, byo" and "sweet chariot" which is extra sweet to listen to your precious voice singing. You sing a lot about all sorts of things, even if you are asking for crackers you sing it to me instead of asking me in just a question and I love it, it is super sweet and funny. You love to slide, run, play outside, rock in your rocking chair on the front porch, and to color. You love to eat yogurt and berries, pizza & rolls (like your Daddy), bagels for breakfast, animal crackers for snack and homemade smoothies. 

I pray for you...for your future, for you and your sister to be the best of friends, for God to allow you to feel every bit as loved as you should even after we have another daughter. I pray for your future husband, that the Lord will shape him and you to become the people He wants you to be, that He will show Kyle and I how to be the best parents to you to help make you that person. It's not easy being a parent to a two year old...there are plenty of times that we mess up, say or do the wrong thing, are too strict or too lenient, but just know that we are trying our best, because you are worth every bit of hard work and frustration that goes into parenting.

Above all else, dearest Bella, you are the bright spot in your parents' life. Every day is more fun and beautiful with you in it. Every day I am thankful for your joy and humor and constant love. When the rest of the world is going to pieces, I can still look at you and know that there is good in the world and that God is going to use you to do GREAT things as you grow and follow Him. It excites me to be a witness to your life. I love you, my "two old" child, more every day.

That "In-Betweenness"

I am so thankful right now. Thankful for the days like today that I am extraordinarily covered in blessings that all I have to whine about is that my A/C only works downstairs (bizarre, but true). When the thing that keeps me awake at night is that Kyle and I are too picky/indecisive to pick the perfect name for our soon to be daughter (9 more weeks!! EEK!) These things are troubling to my brain but when I stop and talk to other people, or just think of the many troubles of the world, I kind of want to laugh at myself. When is life any sweeter than now? Sure we have bills, and student loan payments that eat our paycheck alive. Sure we have dreams we can't afford to make happen. But seriously? At the end of the day, when we sit at home and eat our hot dogs in the living room because it's too hot in the kitchen and congratulate each other on not spending any money or gas to go anywhere...it just warms my heart to think God has brought us far enough that we are GLAD when we don't spend money instead of CRYING over the money we don't have. 

We have a little girl who is the sweetest, smartest, FUNNIEST person I have ever met. She makes me laugh when she asks her Daddy if she can try on his pants while we fold laundry...and HE makes me laugh for indulging her and I get to watch her waddle around holding up pants ten thousand times too big for her little beautiful body. I love that I have friends who can spend the night with us and I feel at home enough with them that I can do laundry and cook a cheap but yummy dinner and we are all good with just watching a movie in our 80 degree bedroom and not have to apologize because she knows that "this is life" and that's just how we roll. I ADORE that I have friends I have reconnected with that I get to go help clean their house so they can come home from the hospital with their precious bundle of joy and not have to think about anything to do but love on that sweet new baby. What a JOY. God is just so so GOOD and when I lose track of that I hope I come back to this post later and remember that life is not about everything being "just so" or all the socks being matched and put away...if I spent more time with my daughter than I did my dishes, and if I taught her that it's more important to help others even if I'm tired and pregnant and have family drama-well, that is what really matters. Being thankful is so good for the soul. (And Norah Jones playing in the background helps).